fustrated with friends who have kids w/speech delay

[ajberchielli]

I am so fustrated with quite a few friends I have whose young children under age 3 who have speech delays, autisim and other dd. I really encourage them to use signing and/or ST dvds with their children and I can't get them motivated to even give it a try. I have reffered them to the ST website the benefits section and still they seem to brush it off, like oh I tried to sign with my child but he didn't seem interested. Uggghhh!!! So fustrating and their children are even more fustrated not being able to communicate except for screaming and crying and hitting other kids!!! How/when will they finally get it!!!!!????

thanks for letting me vent!!!!:confused:

[dmmetler]

This might be a good time for a Christmas/Hanukkah/Holiday gift, if you can afford it. I suspect if you can afford to give them just one video, it will start things going.

I know that the best way to get parents interested in doing music classes with their child is to get them to come and participate just once. Which is why I'm almost always up for doing a demo class for a group or in a public place. Once they've seen their child respond, it does more than any publicity material can do.

Signing takes a little longer (although my autistic non-verbal student started signing at home in the first week after seeing it in class), but it's the same thing. Once your child starts talking to you, you can go from doubting thomas to evangelist in a hurry!

[carievercell]

sounds like they are just not ready yet! A lot of parents with kids with autism ect. are hit so hard with the diagnosis that it takes a good while to really accept it and be open to things like sign.

[Kei_as_in_K]

Some people aren't ready for change... they could still be in denial and think that by getting ST or learning ASL that it's an admission that something might be 'wrong' with their child. They might think that they theyselves cannot learn ASL, that it's too difficult to learn or that it's too time-consuming. They might not realize that ASL benefits kids of all abilities, even those without any dd or speech delays. Sometimes just pointing them in the direction of ST may not be enough. And there's no guarantee that lending them a video will mean they will actually watch it.

What about inviting them and their children over for a playdate, and put ST on? Maybe if they see their child react to it or be engaged by it they might want to take the next step of borrowing or buying one.

[kimberly]

I lent the very first DVD to my friend who was also having denial issues. Her little girl took right to it and has become so incredibly interested in signing now. Their little family can't afford to purchase the series, but they regularly check them out from the library now.

I guess my suggestion would be to let them borrow a copy, point them towards the library for a risk-free trial (many libraries now have ST), or - as Kei said - invite the child over and put it on during a playdate.

Good Luck!

[eyeteachpreskool]

I always make a point to share my experience with signing with CJ. Some people fear that they'll teach it the wrong way, don't have enough signs of their own to really teach it, or that their kids won't speak if they sign. I show them how well CJ is doing, and remind them that the only words he actually speaks are the ones he can also sign. Then, I leave it with the person.

A lot of people need time to digest what is happening with their child or loved one. It can be so overwhelming to a parent who was never expecting to "need" to do something different. Granted, it can be a beautiful new beginning when they embrace it, but THEY have to be the one to embrace it when they are truly ready.

I make a huge effort to really be there for parents of children with special needs. They know I have a lot of resources available and that I can relate to parenting a child with special needs. Usually, when they are ready, they will come back to me and ask more questions.

-Aimee

[Krista]

Denial is powerful thing.

I sign with my kids because I'm HOH and that's just what we do- so it's not an issue. HOWEVER, you should have felt the kick to my stomach this Wednesday when Anika's case manager recommended a wheelchair for her since she's getting too big for the stroller. Ouch....that hit hard!

[taylorcamel]

I have lots of people ask me about signing with Cameron. I also recomend it to people who coment on concerns they have with their kids. The best way I have found to help people get into signing is to give them one of the shows as a gift. You don't have to say anything other than my kids really love this show and wanted to share it with you. We have given them as baby shower gifts and for holidays and birthdays. Then the kids start watching and next thing you know the whole family is hooked. I have some friends who I have been telling about it for ever but they just never took the time to look into it until they were given one of the shows. Once their kids sign something to them they can't help but be converted.

[aligreat]

It is hard to see that happening. I have seen the parents of deaf children who don't want to sign. I recently saw a film that states that 69% of deaf children grow up in homes where sign is not used on a regular basis. If the parents of a deaf child can choose to not use sign, I can see that the parents of a speech delayed child might make the same choice. I can only suggest that you continue to be a good example.

-AG

[apraxiax2mom]

Hi Janel-
I have two young sons with speech delays, and I embraced signing to be able to communicate with my oldest. When he was about two, he was so frustrated that he started making up his own signs...so we started learning ASL together. However, now that he has entered Early Childhood preschool, they are encouraging Picture Exchange Systems over sign because not everyone that the child will encounter understands ASL, but the pictures are universal. I don't know if I agree with PECS over signing, but it is an alternative that parents may be willing to accept. Just a suggestion...

Tara

[Kei_as_in_K]

they are encouraging Picture Exchange Systems over sign because not everyone that the child will encounter understands ASL, but the pictures are universal. I don't know if I agree with PECS over signing, but it is an alternative that parents may be willing to accept.
My son's Speech Therapist uses PECS with him at school as part of a total communication approach. What I love, though, is that she uses ASL with the PECS to help reinforce the words & concepts. She's awesome.

Also, you could see if they might use the icons from http://www.speechfun.com/sign_pic.html ~ it's a great blend of PECS/boardmaker and ASL.

[amiller]

While I agree that more people will recognize a photo of, say, a car than the ASL sign, it does seem the language aspects of ASL are beneficial in ways that simply showing photos are not.

[c01dunlap]

...
Also, you could see if they might use the icons from http://www.speechfun.com/sign_pic.html ~ it's a great blend of PECS/boardmaker and ASL.

I looked out of curiosity - those are so neat, I had to comment.

BTW, I feel a little funny posting on this forum, since my dd is developing typically. Hope you all feel that's okay. I've been on the old alexandleah group, and it didn't seem quite so awkward (maybe invasive?) to comment there.

I really learn a lot about parenting in general from ALL of you, and want to better understand (& maybe give Sophie a chance to know) kids who are more unique in their development cycle. That's one reason I love ST. Growing up myself, the first time I saw & met in-person someone my age (vs. in a nursing home) in a wheelchair was age 14 or 15. It took me a while to get comfortable (being honest here), but she became a good friend, even through college.

So, I will go back to lurking ;) , but just wanted to peek out of my "hiding place" for a moment. Thanks!

Take care, and have a terrific week!

[Jerzmomof4]

Tara, (and everyone else)
OK, I have to add my 2 cents here. First off, personally I dislike PECS. Yes, I understand it's a form of communication, and anything that gets the message across from child to parent, or from child to teacher is a wonderful thing. It lessons the frustration of all parties involved, and bridges the gap of verbal communication until the child becomes sufficient in verbal communication

However, I truely believe ASL is the way to go.
1) It is the 3rd most used language in the United States.
2) Most High Schools offer it as a foreign or 2nd language.
Sign language is becomming more popular everywhere. This week alone, my husband and I watched 2 tv shows that had clips of ASL. In addition, yesterdays Sesame Street had several segments of ASL. I also see more people signing in public now that I have become aware of the language. It seems like I have "SignRadar", LOL.

My arguement with the school for NOT using PECS was, " And make her "tri-lingual" No pressure there for her huh? "

Of course they came back and said, "Well out in the real world, not everyone knows sign" To which I replied, I AM her world. Not to sound to boostful, but it's true. Besides school, where does she go without me, or her Dad. When she enters the "real world" on her own, we will cross that bridge when we come to it. In the mean time, we continue to verbalize combined with signing, and she continues to amaze us with her development in signing and talking.

Like I said, just my 2 cents.

[Kei_as_in_K]

they came back and said, "Well out in the real world, not everyone knows sign"
How very closed-minded. Maybe they should get a copy of Dr. Marilyn Daniels' book Dancing With Words or you could download some articles she's written or have been written about her to show them the extensive research on the benefits of using ASL. http://www.marilyndaniels.com/news.html

What I love about my son's school is that from the start, in preschool there, I emphasized the importance of using sign with him. Even if he didn't use it consistently at school, they understood that he learns better with the addition of ASL. So the teachers decided to not limit its use to just William, but that the other kids would enjoy it as well.

The reason I don't mind Pecs is because William's speech therapist uses it with sign, not on its own. For him, he really needs the additional reinforcement of the word/icon/sign to really learn a word and a sign. That's why Signing Time has been so effective in teaching him words (to read, say, sign and spell).. and the way his Speech teach uses the pecs & signs together carries over William's particular learning style. And using the sentence strip for pecs has helped pace him, much like a pacing board, but again, very effective for the word/icon/sign emphasis he needs.

LOL on your SignRadar~ my hubby & I have that too.

Getting back to your school and
they came back and said, "Well out in the real world, not everyone knows sign" Well, out in the real world, how realistic is it to have to carry around a bag of Pecs icons & sentence strips to have your child converse with someone? Really? When your hands are right there for ASL! Not to mention trying to find the right picture, and go through all that.

[dmmetler]

That's what I don't get. It is NOT carrying on a real conversation to pull out cards or sentence strips. It is carrying on a real conversation to use ASL. I can see a place for boardmaker or PECS, but it's not real. Can you see carrying on a romantic conversation using boardmaker, for example?

True, not everyone knows sign. However, the barrier between ASL and English is a language barrier-like between English and Spanish. ANd just as my husband and I have managed to spend several weeks in Spanish Speaking countries with only a small amount of Spanish vocabulary, it takes only a small amount of sign to be able to at least start to communicate. If nothing else, I can always point to pictures in a book or magazine then!

One of my mentor teachers was an ESL teacher, who commented that you can't teach whole language without a whole language to start with, and for that reason, she found it more helpful when children first entered school to build up their spanish vocabulary, because then she could use their knowledge of spanish as a bridge to build English language skills. The same is true with ASL. If a child can't speak verbally, give him/her a whole language to start with, not little bits and pieces.

[Kei_as_in_K]

Can you see carrying on a romantic conversation using boardmaker, for example?
:D Oh, I need a ROFLMBO smilie for that one!

[c01dunlap]

I'd bet that, with the explosion of interest in baby signing, and the number of parents that are taking the next step towards ASL (ST or other resources), ASL is not only the 3rd language here in the states, but it will be growing rapidly! I am hopeful that our kids' generation will see a lot more of their peers knowing ASL or at least a lot of Signing Vocab. I know when I was in H.S., ASL was not offered as a second language. Now it often is :) .

I really do hope for a snowball effect - my dh's deaf cousin Joy seemed to be so isolated growing up (she's married now, to a deaf interpreter). Actually, H.S. ASL as 2nd language was the first formal introduction she had to it (she was mainstreamed). I find it equally frustrating to hear your stories of schools & "support systems" (term used loosely) that refuse to incorporate all modes of communication that help your children develop, learn & grow as individuals.

Hats off to all of you for championing your children, trying new & different things, trying to spread the word to other parents, etc. I know Joy's parents were trying there best, and reacting to feedback from the deaf school that their child would never learn or be self-sufficient. I still do get a bit angry when I think about their choice to refuse her ASL as a form of communication. And part of the family still believes that lip reading is the same as hearing (mind you, they don't make any effort to remain facing her either, so she can't 'see' the whole conversation anyway). Hmm... down, Chris, down. Get off of your soapbox :rolleyes:

You're all such great parents - I hope I am doing as well for my little Sophie.

Have a good one,

[apraxiax2mom]

Hi all-
Actually, I prefer signing to PECS as well. I was just thinking about the original post in this thread...if parents of children with speech delays balk at learning a whole new language, maybe PECS would be less "scary." As a parent of two speech-delayed children, I personally think that it's my responsibility to do whatever is best for my children, no matter how big or small the commitment. But other parents may not feel that way, or may be in denial about their child's delays.

Also, we live in a mid-sized midwestern town, and ASL is not the widespread phenomenon that it is becoming elsewhere. Not only is it not taught at our high school, it is not even taught anywhere within a 30 mile radius. This is how I discovered ST in the first place. However, I find myself wanting to learn a more complete version of ASL...do you all have any ideas?

Tara

[fivezenuff]

That's what I don't get. It is NOT carrying on a real conversation to pull out cards or sentence strips. It is carrying on a real conversation to use ASL. I can see a place for boardmaker or PECS, but it's not real. Can you see carrying on a romantic conversation using boardmaker, for example?

The same is true with ASL. If a child can't speak verbally, give him/her a whole language to start with, not little bits and pieces.

And how many children have you had that HAVE had to use PECS? I am speaking from experiance (yes it makes me sick to see that some of us even find it a joking matter)
We did sign the first 2 years with my daughter with verbal apraxia. Her therapists know basic sign, her teachers at the special needs school know basic sign. True PECS is not a "real" language. But it is something, anyone, anywhere, any age in, yes it is true - the REAL world, can understand with no special instruction. And yes it is a pain to carry cards, books etc. But it gave her a "Voice" to use with everyone. Not just in her small little "family and close friends" world who was learning sign.
I fought at first when they introduced PECS, she allready could sign, we didn't need another method, I didn't want a zillion cards to keep track of... etc. But she took to PECS so fast it was amazing. She was a visual learner. And she also learned correct sentence structure from it. ASL did not to this. It wasn't a continual prompt that could sit in front of her... she couldn't read sign, sign couldn't be printed out in whole songs and games and put in a binder that she could pick up and sing and play from anytime, byherself, or with anyone in the "real" world.
Besides. I wonder how many of us are actually teaching our children/babies ASL on the"whole." People I know are signing subjects only, just bits and pieces to get the thought across. How is that a whole language.
Yes it would be great if everyone knew ASL. So do I wait for that day and not give my child a voice, or limit who she can talk to (only those who can recognize their signing). Or do you go the PECS route that everyone seems to find so offensive and open the whole world to your child? And how is that "NOT REAL CONVERSATION?" My child is conveying thoughts, needs, emotions, all by stringing cards together. That is real conversation to me. It is a bridge and that is it.
I'm glad my children aren't old enough to read some of the thoughts several of you have..... life is hard enough fighting for services, let alone the guilt we have, but also the views others have. . . RaKel mom to five kids who sign, 2 of which have needs that have both required sign and PECS and d**n proud of it. I'll do anything, drive anywhere to give my children a voice.

[amiller]

True, not everyone knows sign. However, it takes only a small amount of sign to be able to at least start to communicate. If nothing else, I can always point to pictures in a book or magazine then!

In my experience, Deaf signers are usually patient with people who are learning - and they will, if they see you are truly making an effort to learnt heir language and respect their culture, do what it takes to communicate. For example, it took me a long time to learn negatives - don't want, etc. - and I would sign "NOT-WANT" and of course they understood me, and then showed me the sign for whatever I was missing. It was a great way to learn and was not a true hindrance to communication.

[signingstore.ca]

As an audiologist working with all age groups, from newly identified hoh children to hoh seniors, I learned after a couple of years of practice that you cannot change a person's opinion just because what you believe - is good for them. The best thing you can do is suggest to a parent that they consider using signs, or ST videos or take some sign classes etc.

I found that the more strongly you voiced your opinion the more likely they take quiet offence to your comments (although they may be very polite outwardly). A change in opinion on their part, which may make a change in behavior (ie: start to try signs or use the videos) is what will be necessary. You've done your part by making the suggestion, it will be a matter of time before they will act (if at all). Oftentimes well-meant advice just takes a while to take place. And it may be the same voiced advice from a professional (eg: SLP, pediatrician) that may make them act.

As a professional I learned I had to respect what parents' chose to do for their children - even when it came to deciding not to have hearing aids fitted for their hoh child !

[amiller]

Iand still they seem to brush it off, like oh I tried to sign with my child but he didn't seem interested. How/when will they finally get it!!!!!????

Janel,

Remember, you can lead a horse to water but you can't make them drink! I know it is frustrating, and what I would suggest since the parents are not willing to put forth the effort is to have you or your kids teach them signs on the sly - for example: "in our house, we don't hit when someone takes our toy. We sign [demonstrate here] SHARE, PLEASE - it's our own special language! Isn't that much more fun?" or have your kids say over snack "I know a secret way to say COOKIE - want to see?" We have "converted" several families like this! And remember, it is a total family commitment to sign - it really is not just as simple as watching the videos - you really have to want it to make it work.

[c01dunlap]

...have you or your kids teach them signs on the sly - for example: "in our house, we don't hit when someone takes our toy. We sign [demonstrate here] SHARE, PLEASE - it's our own special language! Isn't that much more fun?" or have your kids say over snack "I know a secret way to say COOKIE - want to see?" We have "converted" several families like this! ...

Neat idea! Now, any ideas on how to convert adults (e.g. grandparents) :) ?!? One set (okay Gpa) is particularly irked that we have been teaching our daughter sign (2 yrs old, she's hearing, adult cousin is deaf), and she has at least as many signs as verbal words, and he 'can't understand what she wants'. Other gparents are borrowing ST videos :D I know as she gets older, it will sort itself out, but I wouldn't mind the family learning a little sign, as it would also be a great benefit to her deaf cousin.

[amiller]

Neat idea! Now, any ideas on how to convert adults (e.g. grandparents) :) ?!?

I find that once you convert the kids, the adults follow suit!

[bobica]

Hi! I wanted to jump in b/c i fiind this topic endlessly interesting. I have specialized in augmentative/alternative communication (AAC) for some years now (less so now that i work less). I find that most families find sign easier for their everyday lives. I totally agree & sign with my hearing, verbal child. However, i also agree that a picture-based communication system is more transparent for others in the world. For little kids, it's not a big issue. For older kids looking for more independence, it can be hugely helpful.

When i say picture-based communication system, i am NOT talking about PECS. PECS is its own system, with its own rules & applications, specifically geared towards kids with autism. the symbols from boardmaker & other sources can be utilized in a variety of ways- labeling household items, creating a personal information page to keep in a wallet in case of emergency, a specific page of symbols to use to order food at mcdonalds :p etc.

Writing is also considered a form of AAC and a really great one at that! I've been arguing this point with another SLP who felt it appropriate to prescribe an electronic communication system for a developmentally disabled non-speaking adult who prefers writing. He has the device now & won't use it. He lives in a residence, goes to a day program, and doesn't need the voice output. Simplicity is the key!

To address the original purpose of the thread, it drives me NUTS when friends won't consider signing. i've actually had a friend poke fun :( signing has been a wonderful bridge to verbal language for dd & now that her hearing is compromised (fluid- tubes scheduled for wednesday) we've been relying more & more on her signs. My best friend has a daughter with Down Syndrome & another with speech delay & won't sign with either. :confused: I'll never understand.

Denial? maybe. Hard to tell. I know that i don't offer *ANY* unsolicited advice about a child's development. If i am asked a direct question, then i'll go for it. people only hear what they want to/are ready to hear.

Whew, i'll stop now!!! :o

[dmmetler]

And how many children have you had that HAVE had to use PECS? I am speaking from experiance (yes it makes me sick to see that some of us even find it a joking matter)
We did sign the first 2 years with my daughter with verbal apraxia. Her therapists know basic sign, her teachers at the special needs school know basic sign. True PECS is not a "real" language. But it is something, anyone, anywhere, any age in, yes it is true - the REAL world, can understand with no special instruction. And yes it is a pain to carry cards, books etc. But it gave her a "Voice" to use with everyone. Not just in her small little "family and close friends" world who was learning sign.
I fought at first when they introduced PECS, she allready could sign, we didn't need another method, I didn't want a zillion cards to keep track of... etc. But she took to PECS so fast it was amazing. She was a visual learner. And she also learned correct sentence structure from it. ASL did not to this. It wasn't a continual prompt that could sit in front of her... she couldn't read sign, sign couldn't be printed out in whole songs and games and put in a binder that she could pick up and sing and play from anytime, byherself, or with anyone in the "real" world.
Besides. I wonder how many of us are actually teaching our children/babies ASL on the"whole." People I know are signing subjects only, just bits and pieces to get the thought across. How is that a whole language.
Yes it would be great if everyone knew ASL. So do I wait for that day and not give my child a voice, or limit who she can talk to (only those who can recognize their signing). Or do you go the PECS route that everyone seems to find so offensive and open the whole world to your child? And how is that "NOT REAL CONVERSATION?" My child is conveying thoughts, needs, emotions, all by stringing cards together. That is real conversation to me. It is a bridge and that is it.
I'm glad my children aren't old enough to read some of the thoughts several of you have..... life is hard enough fighting for services, let alone the guilt we have, but also the views others have. . . RaKel mom to five kids who sign, 2 of which have needs that have both required sign and PECS and d**n proud of it. I'll do anything, drive anywhere to give my children a voice.
Hold the phone here!!!

First of all, I've been involved with UCP for years-I'm an adult with cerebral palsy and dyspraxia. Yes, I DO know individuals for whom a picture system or other form of augmented communication is their only way of communications.

For me, signing (SE) was (and is) a bridge when my language disabilities made speech impossible. It was never a complete replacement for speech. It was a tool. It worked. And it didn't require anything extra or anything prepared in advance. I could use it any time, anywhere and it still helped me even if no one else knew what I was saying.

When I say I can still turn to pictures in a magazine and communicate, I mean it. There have been times in my life I've had to do that in order to communicate because my brain is blocking speech. I'd hate to do all my communications that way.
And, while I agree completely with giving a child a voice any way possible, there is a dramatic difference for an adult with CP who uses a head pointer, for example, between using a few symbols on a board set up for someone else, and, say, going inside and using a computer where they can type full words and say anything they want (pointing to individual letters tends to be a real barrier if words are longer than a few letters long, just as finger spelling everything would be). Picture communications are great for limited speech, but, as I said, they're not exactly good for romantic communication or anything too personal.

My problem is that too often I participate in IEP meetings where a child could, with instruction, do something closer to "normal" and instead the school pushes for something easy. And most of the time Boardmaker (for example) is used, it's because the school finds it easier to use BM than to make sure the people around the child know ASL. In some cases, I've seen trying to make verbal speech comprehensible (with a child who was trying to be verbal) dropped in favor of picture communications becuase it was easier for the adults to understand.

Compare it to mobility. Should we keep a child who is capable of walking with a walker in a wheelchair because it's easier for us? Or assume that a walker is good enough and we don't need to work on increasing mobility beyond that? Too often, we assume that since a child needs PECS now, they'll always need it and not work to teach them ASL or to speak. And when a child who is already signing is taught PECS because its easier for the school or it's what the school already uses, that's like taking a child's walker away and giving them a wheelchair so that they don't slow the class down when walking to the cafeteria. It may make life easier, but it reduces independence in the long run.

[Kei_as_in_K]

First, I have to say that I love that we can share our experiences, thoughts, and opinions here. And I really appreciate that while comparing PECS, Boardmaker, and ASL can become a hot topic, we can remain civil about it and respect each other's ground.

I will admit that when I started on the whole adventure of raising a child w/special needs, I read and researched and visited different message boards and thought... "Okay.... I'm going to advocate for my child to make them communicate with my child the way I want them to." and now that I've a few years under my belt with the process, I realize that it isn't always so black and white. I've been very lucky to have a school where everyone listens to what I have to say, where they have really gotten to know my son and are determined to help him the best way they can. When I've mentioned things my friends talk about on different Down syndrome boards (like Handwriting without Tears), they either know about these things or are willing to look into them and incorporate them. The school already had some experience with using ASL before William started there. But they were willing to do more for him.
My problem is that too often I participate in IEP meetings where a child could, with instruction, do something closer to "normal" and instead the school pushes for something easy. And most of the time Boardmaker (for example) is used, it's because the school finds it easier to use BM than to make sure the people around the child know ASL. In some cases, I've seen trying to make verbal speech comprehensible (with a child who was trying to be verbal) dropped in favor of picture communications becuase it was easier for the adults to understand.
I think it's a cop-out when a school pushes for something to make it easier or less time-consuming on their staff. Granted, many schools are understaffed and the teachers overworked, but to me their students and their education should be the most important thing. But rather than dropping the parents' and child's first line of communication in favor of what's easier for them should be addressed by the parents. Why not ask for the best of both worlds? Use them together... the staff can learn ASL while helping reinforce those signs w/the child with the icons/pictures/words.

And to get back to the original post in this thread... Janel, have the parents become any more receptive to signing?

[3LittleBees]

This was true to me. When my daughter first failed her hearing test I was in such denial. It wasn't until I was desperate to try anything that I started search for something I could do. She was in speach therapy but was still not communicating. By this point all Christina did was cry, scream, and hit. Just so happens I read about Signing Time in a magazine article around the same time I was willing to give anything a try. I'm glad I did. Now we can all communicate with Christina, and Deborah (her twin) caught on quickly and communicates with her also. Delilah was and still is taking sign language class through a local home school program. She teaches me signs all the time. When the twins (mainly Christina) signs something and I don't know what it is I always ask Delilah since she teaches them signs she is learning.



sounds like they are just not ready yet! A lot of parents with kids with autism ect. are hit so hard with the diagnosis that it takes a good while to really accept it and be open to things like sign.

[lovemy6sweeties]

and some delays or things that just don't seem quite right are easy to rationalize away. Sometimes it's easier to accept coming from a professional. Since my son's dx is so apparent, it wasn't that difficult for us, and we just went to town researching his dx and doing all that we could for him. I could see that autism or speech delays might be easier to explain away than Down Syndrome ;)

Hopefully your friends will come to terms with the delays and get help for their child!