potty training

[Lezliej]

I am working with a mom who has a deaf son and is trying to potty train. He seems to be ready, he stays dry for long periods of time and he is able to hold it. She knows for sure he can hold it because he refuses to potty on the potty chair! He will sit for an hour and not go! But he will go on the floor or in the bathtub. She has tried pouring a little warm water over him when he's on the potty but that doesn't work. She signs the "toilet" sign but doesn't really have any other ideas. Do you all have any suggestions at all? He has other issues as well as deafness, possible autism, and he doesn't communicate with her at all except to sign "want".

Thanks!!

[joesmom]

How old is her son? I am a big advocate for waiting till the child is ready, my son was 4.5 before he was completely out of pullups, but with this little boy being deaf & possibly having autism... I don't know. I hope someone else comes along who can give you some more information! :)

[MmaBasotho]

My hoh daughter is what I call partially potty trained. She can hold it, can use the potty, but doesn't tell anyone she needs to go. If someone doesn't take her - or she doesn't feel comfortable to use the potty at that moment - she will go in her pants. She doesn't really care, either. It can be really, really frustrating to change her out of the clothes I just put her in (like I did this morning).

I see a lot of parents with kids who have communication issues really struggling with potty training. My current conclusion is that we need to cut ourselves some slack as parents. Yeah, it's a drag to wipe poop off your kid's butt, it's a drag to change diapers and throw yet another wet set of clothes in the wash. But I think we also feel we'll be judged if our kids are the last ones to be potty trained. That's where we need to try to let go of what we feel we're expected to do. Our kids are different, we're different - that's okay.

Maybe this mom would feel less stress about it if she takes a break, gives it six months or so, and then sees if her child is ready. In my experience, and what I see around me, you can't force a child to be ready to potty train.

HTH!

[c01dunlap]

In addition, when it is time, the "rewards and praise" method seems to really help all the kiddos I know. A few things that sparked Sophie's interest:

* Funny one that just 'happened': in the car we have a potty seat (http://www.target.com/gp/detail.html/ref=br_1_15/602-0161861-7053421?%5Fencoding=UTF8&frombrowse=1&asin=B000046S2Q) (has removable bowl for dumping), and I use the disposable potty liners (https://www.inventiveparent.com/onthegopottylinerrefills.htm). The potty liners are white with outline of red turtles. Sophie thinks it's very cool when she goes potty and the white turns yellow. Instead of saying, "I went potty", she says, "I made the turtles yellow!!!" Even though Sophie 'invented' this one, I really think that could be good, because it is a DIRECT cause-and-effect that is VISUAL. BTW, the liners can be found in stores too, if you're looking.

* Seeing slightly older (or same age) kids (friends, cousins) going potty and that they get to wear underwear.

* Getting to pick out her own underwear (in her case, Dora the Explorer). She doesn't want to take them off, and knows she 'loses' them if she gets wet. (She gets a new pair, but each one is different -- "Aww, I got Boots the Monkey wet!")

See the Potty Training Stories (http://www.signingtime.com/forums/showthread.php?t=1095) and Little boy potty training advice (http://www.signingtime.com/forums/showthread.php?t=1900) threads for more ideas only WHEN the little one is ready.

[Lezliej]

Thanks for those suggestions. This little guy is 4 1/2 and he's not able to understand rewards. She really doesn't even know how to get him to know what she wants him to do. He'll go in the tub or on the floor but absolutely refuses to go on the potty!

Thanks!!

[dmmetler]

Here's the thread on the "teaching potty signs" activities I did with my baby/toddler class, including the full version of the "silly potty song"

http://www.signingtime.com/forums/showthread.php?t=920

[becnorris]

Thanks for those suggestions. This little guy is 4 1/2 and he's not able to understand rewards. She really doesn't even know how to get him to know what she wants him to do. He'll go in the tub or on the floor but absolutely refuses to go on the potty!

Thanks!!

I was just thinking maybe if he picked out his own potty (or potty seat for the big potty) that he might have more interest in using it. There are so many kinds out there now...ones with characters, animals, different colors...etc!

Just a thought...good luck! ;)

[fia's mom]

My only other suggestion would be to have Dad or Grandpa help out with this one. Let's face it, we women aren't exactly "equipped" the same. There is a difference between having Mommy show him, and having Daddy or Grandpa show him. In the case of my oldest nephew, this helped quite a bit. In turn, when his little brother was potty training, he was able to help his little bro' with his training. Just my two cents.