Making friends

[tyandsophiesmom]

I just met with the teacher at Sophia's new school for the fall. It is a diagnostic Kindergarten class and it has everything we want for her, with one exception. They don't typically sign in class. The teacher recommended an Aug. Board for her. Now we had already scheduled a SET meeting for next week, months ago. But I was under the impression this would partner with ASL not be replacing it. The teacher made a point to me at the end of the meeting that has me very troubled. She said in her experience the vast majority of kids in her classes have not signed so how will she make any friends if they can't communicate with her. Therefore she will regress even more socially. Obviously we will continue signing with her a home, but I didn't think things at school would change. Does any one have an thoughts about this, or experience anything like this with there kids?

[aligreat]

In the book Deaf in America there is a story of a little deaf boy, who is from a deaf family. He had a friend who seemed very odd to him. She didn't understand when he signed to her. He had to resort to making gestures as to what he wanted when they played. They got along just fine, but one day he asked his mom what was wrong with this little girl. His mom used a sign he was unfamiliar with, and so she had to explain it to him. This little girl was "hearing," and so she didn't know how to sign. The little boy felt so sorry for his friend because that would be so hard to be so different from everyone else. At this point his mom had to explain to him that most people are hearing and that he was different.

Children don't need to "talk" to play with each other. Does the mainstreamed non-verbal child not play? Does the Spanish speaking child not play with the English speaking children? Play does not necessarily require a common language. Friendships can be built in spite of a language barrier, and then Sophia's new friends might want to learn some sign. Then we will have a whole new batch of ST fans.

[dmmetler]

This sounds like a cop-out from the teacher-I don't want to mess with ASL, so I'll find reasonable sounding excuses. Two children who speak different languages can make friends without trouble, and usually end up teaching the other child the language. If the teacher made any effort whatsoever to teach ASL, you could have a whole class of little signers pretty quickly (especially if you used ST! to do it). And Signing even helps in teaching early reading skills, so it can easily be justified to spend time on it, particularly in a developmental class.

[Emilys_Mommy]

I worked for years as an Elementary Teacher. I have been through the whole process of mainstreaming and I have to say that I am pretty disappointed hearing this come from another teacher. Special Education Laws dictate that children be placed in their "Least Restrictive Environment" - your child should NEVER feel that they have to 'conform' to this teacher's class.

When my daughter started learning sign, it was a learning process for me as well. I also decided that it would be fun to integrate sign into my First Grade class at the time. We learned some very basic signs at first - the LOVED learning all the signs! They couldn't get enough! Even my lowest functioning children were able to catch on quickly. It was a bonding experience for all of them. (At the end of the year, many of my students had a 'sign vocabulary' of at least 10 words and they knew 2 whole SONGS in sign as well!)

Remember that you are your child's voice - if you feel that she is not being accomodated, only you can change things for her. I hope that your daughter gets what she needs to help her fit in and feel comfortable. Best of luck!

[origami]

Our classroom teacher recommended Signing Time to us. She trained in deaf education -- although most of her students are not deaf.

My child has words but it wasn't until she started using Signing Time that she really got the idea that words can be used to COMMUNICATE.

Rachel, Leah, and Alex have taught SO MUCH to our child -- and not just sign language.

Maybe your teacher needs to watch some Signing Time.

[tcjcsullivan]

I think communication is so important when we hear people telling us something we don't feel right about. I would go back to the teacher with concern about her comments. I would repeat them to ask if you understood her right. Then I would reinforce that sign language can be helpful for other children as well. Children are visual learners, sign language helps develop their speech as well. And wouldn't she want to help your child build a community by helping the other student communicate with her. Ask her if she is afraid of learning sign language? Along that way your child will require an interpreter with ASL, perhaps you can offer an inservice to the the school about sign and how it helps us communicate. You may even be able to form a small group of her friends to learn sign.

Sometimes others are resistant to something they don't understand. Schools didn't want to ban peanuts until someone really got that a child may die! Your child shouldn't be shunned because she can benefit from a different form of communication. Lip reading will be important, but her community also needs to understand that making modifications is OK.

Think about your wording, repeat what others say, assume they want what's best for your child and always sound supportive (even when you are mad). Spend time with the principal, the teachers, let them know how hard this is for you too, but that you know with their support your daughter will succeed.

Good luck

[tyandsophiesmom]

Thank you for all these points. I haven't stopped thinking about this situation since our meeting. I think this classroom is going to be great for her, it's as close to mainstream as we can get. But the signing issue is really concerning me. I have her IEP in a few weeks to discuss alot of issues and I want to have all my "ducks" in a row. So all your help is really appreciated!

[origami]

My child went for a long time not really ever communicating to her teacher in her developmental preschool. After they started using sign language with her, she made her first communication with her teacher. They were packing up to leave and she signed "Home. Mom." Since then, we've been getting more and more communication, although she's still definitely autistic and has her main difficulty with pragmatics of language -- you can have all the words you want but if you can't figure out the give and take of conversation, it's not going to do much good. That's why I think sign has been so helpful. I think it has helped us with the give and take of language and interaction.

Maybe your classroom teacher is afraid of having to learn all those signs. Well, I can't imagine a better quick course than Signing Time. We just got Signing Time 4, 5, and 6 a couple days ago and our kids know a whole bunch more signs now. Maybe she needs to be reassured that you don't expect her to be perfect and to know ASL well enough to be an interpreter -- just that you would like her to be open to learning some signs.

[c01dunlap]

I read this thread and immediately thought of a story that someone either posted on the forums or on the old alexandleah group. Couldn't find it, though.

The short version was basically that there was a school where students were English-speaking (the language being taught & used to teach, exclusively, I believe) and, more predominantly (I think) Spanish-speaking. A child that spoke neither (some Asian language, I think) started at the school, and had no other language to bridge communication. Although the teachers were working on teaching him English, through play with the other students, he actually picked up Spanish first, as his second language!! This, despite the fact that there was a formal education/instruction going on focused on teaching hime English.

Kids will most definitely overcome language barriers between them, and form friendships and bonds. :)

[dmmetler]

I know this has been posted before, but it may be useful here as well when it comes to supporting teaching sign in a preschool setting.

http://www.csupomona.edu/~apfelzer/mbr/mbr.html

[tyandsophiesmom]

Thanks this a great article. Her preschool is actually great about signing, it's the School District Diagnostic Kindergarten that is giving us trouble. Hopefully we can get an interp. in the class for her.

[MmaBasotho]

Special Education Laws dictate that children be placed in their "Least Restrictive Environment" - your child should NEVER feel that they have to 'conform' to this teacher's class.

Yes! For children who rely on signing instead of speech, placing them in a mainstream classroom where they do not share a communication method with their peers isolates them socially. It is very restrictive!

This is a major consideration for me with my daughter, too. She knows at least 200 signs and is growing in oral skills all the time. She's very bright and we have it on good authority she is already way ahead of the kids in the D/d/hoh pre-K where she is supposed to start in October (thank you Signing Time!). Her ST is beginning to talk about mainstreaming her with an interpreter - she won't even be three! I don't want her to be surrounded by kids who she can't communicate with. It's a conundrum - how to get her into a class where she'll be challenged but not socially isolated.

Anyway, I feel your pain. Please let us know what if anything helps this teacher see the light about signing. I may need to follow your example.

[tyandsophiesmom]

Anyway, I feel your pain. Please let us know what if anything helps this teacher see the light about signing. I may need to follow your example.

We are waiting for her IEP, which is supposed to be at the end of the month. They have offered to continue with her sign instruction for an hour a week. I just don't think that's enough. When I met with the Aug. communication people, they told me they don't think she needs an aug. board. The felt she was an "amazing signer" (Thank you Signing Time, you deserve a lot of the credit!) and he said that even though her fine motor issue cause her to adapt many of her signs, he found her very easy to understand.
Thank you for all you support, I will keep you posted