Shell Shock? or Jet Lag?

We are home. Our flight got in around 11:00PM last night. I was surprised how comfortable I was with all of the snow even though I was in a t-shirt and a skirt and flip flops. It is SO good to be home! We all showered before bed and I had to wash my hair twice to get all of the smoky smell out of it. Just like when you have been camping. We finally went to bed around 2AM. Leah was up promptly at 7AM chomping at the bit to go to school and see all of her friends. Her two best friends Julia and Angie had called during our layover at JFK. They said they have never missed anything or anyone as much as they missed Leah over the past 2 weeks.

The bus couldn’t make it to our house to pick up the girls, so we dropped them off at school. Aaron and I came back to the house, unpacked and started to do laundry. Even if we didn’t wear it, it is getting washed! I opened the pile of mail. I sifted through over 450 email. I haven’t really been answering the phone though. Maybe it’s the jet lag, may be it is culture shock. I don’t know that I can tell the story over and over, it is SO vast! I have more 50 than pages written in my journal.. now what? Do I post it all online, would you even read it? It’s like a novel! I don’t want to post it without pictures, because honestly you CAN’T imagine it!!!

I find myself thinking, “I can’t believe I was there!” And then I think about all of the people we’ve met. They are all still there. I guess I am processing it all. I keep asking myself, “What’s next?” and I do not have an answer. There are so many needs in so many places.

I am no Oprah or Angelina Jolie, I’m me. Sometimes we think we can just leave it up to the millionaires and movie stars to make a difference. The problem is if you leave it up to others, you miss out on having the difference made for you too. I am in a brutal process of redefining so many areas of my life. Re-examining things I was sure I knew. I am sitting here with my eyes opened to how little I really know about the world and about people and about real struggle and survival.