We know we have to work hard if we want to be successful. And we know that we have to teach our kids to work hard too. But did you know that the way we think about our efforts makes a difference? Positive thinking doesn’t bring about some miraculous outcome. But it does change the way we approach our work. It keeps our goals in view and helps us to be hopeful. And these mindsets really could change our outcomes. So let’s look at a few ways to help our kids expect success in their lives. It just might help us parents too.
February is International Success Month, and the focus of this month is to “emphasize the need for positivity in our daily lives.” What a great way to think about heading in a successful direction! Here are 3 ways to help our kids expect success through emphasizing a positive attitude in our daily lives.
Notice the right things
As parents, we try to encourage our kids and let them know they have done well. Quite often, when we encourage them, we are noticing the achievement. We’re quick to tell them they did well when they accomplished something.
While this sort of encouragement is totally fine, we can take it deeper and connect our kids’ accomplishments to important character qualities. For example, we can say, “Hey, great job doing such-and-such today.” But then we can add, “You stuck with it until it was finished,” or “I know you didn’t like that job, but you did it anyway.”
Adding in the character qualities we saw as our kids accomplished something gives it a lot more weight. And it encourages our kids to keep growing in these deep ways. We are noticing not only the good that they have done, but the good in who they are. And that kind of noticing goes a long way in our kids’ character development and in their expectations from themselves. It helps them to see that they can be more, and it helps our kids expect success and growth.
Consider our corrections
Let’s be positive even in our guidance and correction. Many kids complain that their parents care only about what they do wrong. It’s an easy trap to fall into as a parent. We are working hard to help our kids become capable, responsible adults. Most parents really do want the best for their kids. Yet the way we communicate our guidance can come out harshly. And in the busy-ness of everyday life, corrections might end up being the only communication we have with our children.
So let’s think through our corrective communication and make it as forward thinking and as focused on problem solving as we can. Let’s consider the entire situation, and let’s get to the heart of what happened. We can listen to our kids’ side fully, even if we don’t agree. And we can be focused on growth instead of on punishment.
So when it’s time to correct our kids, and it will be this time often, let’s ask things like, “What were you feeling when you…?” We can look for fears or frustrations that led to the action, and we can work through those with our kids instead. And we can help our kids find solutions and make a plan for what to do the next time they feel that way.
Let’s be thinking about how to move forward when our kids mess up, and let’s help our kids expect success even when they have failed. We can help them see that they can learn from failure and that they can have support in moving forward in a better way.
Point out the positives
We can help our kids to see the positives around them, inside them, and in other people. Let’s point out the positive things we see in others. We can help our kids see kindness, caring, and joy in other people. Let’s help our kids to see the determination and work someone else puts into something.
Along with pointing out positive character qualities in other people, we can point out the positives in any situation. We can help our kids see the positives when it feels like it’s all going wrong. And we can show our kids how to do this when we do it in our own difficult situations. Let’s show our kids how to look for the positives in their lives by looking for the positives in our own lives.
Gratitude is a good way to get this mindset going for both our kids and ourselves. Each day, whenever it’s convenient or whenever you remember, have everyone in your family say something they are thankful for. There’s always something to be thankful for, even on a bad day. And there’s science that shows a literal change in our brain function when we choose to be grateful. It’s a really great way to help our kids expect success by emphasizing the need for positivity in our daily lives.
And here’s a great sign to learn along with an effort toward gratitude: Thank You!
At My Signing Time, all of our shows emphasize positive thinking, and we love to assume the success of your kids! We make shows that push your kids to learn in a safe, encouraging, and fun way. And there are never ads or distractions! Take a look at My Signing Time as a fun, educational resource for your kids and a tool for you in helping your kids to expect success.