Here we are in November, staring ahead at the upcoming holiday season. The time from Thanksgiving to the New Year can be so fun for our kids. At the same time, they are filled with so much excitement, and even chaos, that they can get overwhelming. Our kids’ routines can be different from what they are used to. Multiple social events can bring out a lot of emotions in our little ones. All of the activities and events, along with the general excitement of the season can be over-stimulating for our kids, even if they are also really fun. So as we enter this holiday season, let’s look at a few ways of dealing with preschooler tantrums.
With all of these overstimulating events and emotions, how can we prevent emotional meltdowns?
Routine
Since there can be so many changes to routines during the holiday season, let’s look for ways to maintain routines where we can. Any time we can bring back some of the normally expected nap times, bedtime routines, and meal times, it will help. When our kids know exactly what is expected, it brings a feeling of calm in something they can control.
Preparation
We can help our kids handle extra events by preparing them ahead of time. Let’s talk up the next event or day and talk through how it might go. Let your kids ask questions and even have them act out potential situations. Our kids will appreciate being able to know what is coming up, even if they are little.
Another way to prepare our kids is to set expectations. We can set just one or two clear expectations of behavior or even of how to handle emotions. Expectations can relate to whatever your challenge is. They can set our kids up to choose to be flexible, or choose to share, or choose to go to a parent when they are feeling weird. Expectations don’t have to be super strict or serious. The intent of an expectation is to have a plan for how to deal with something you know is likely to come up. So keep them realistic and helpful and doable.
Lastly, we can prepare our kids by helping them transition between activities. You probably do this already. We give our kids countdowns at the park so that they know it’s time to go home soon. So let’s keep this up as we head to different events, and then as we have to leave those events. Give your kids a 10-minute warning about leaving a party or fun event. And then give another reminder at 5-minutes, and even 2-minutes. It also helps to give them a job, like, “Make sure you say goodbye to your friends!”.
Dealing with preschooler tantrums
Now that we’ve looked at ways to prevent a meltdown, let’s think about dealing with preschooler tantrums when they happen.
The first, most important thing to remember is that we must stay calm. I’m talking to us adults. When we can stay calm, it communicates love and calmness to our kids. Something has become too much for them to handle. In that moment, they don’t need to feel that they have become something that cannot be handled. So let’s deal with preschooler tantrums by staying calm.
Then we can acknowledge their feelings. Sometimes, simply being heard can calm a preschooler down. Let’s be willing to let them tell us what’s upsetting them. And no matter how logical it may seem to us, let’s acknowledge their frustrations. When we do this, we are helping them to identify their problem and start to think about solutions.
Another strategy is to offer a choice. We often point out something else to do or to see in order to distract our upset preschoolers. It’s even better when we can offer a choice for what to do next. Choices also help in behavioral issues. You may need a child to stay near you, so you could offer a choice to sit in your lap or to sit in the chair next to you. Having some control through small choices can help a child calm down.
Maybe your child needs to be able to be alone for a few minutes. Consider finding a place to calm down, even if it’s just a quiet corner in the busy space. This can make such a difference in dealing with preschooler tantrums. Once the overstimulation can clear, your kid may be ready to jump back into the fun.
After the tantrum
It can be helpful to discuss the meltdown after the child calms down. We aren’t trying to reprimand, but rather to think about what caused it to happen. And then we can teach our kids to use words instead of having a tantrum. Learning some signs for feelings can really help preschoolers to express their feelings. Either way, learning to express feelings in a healthy way will help them out. It won’t change things overnight, but it will become more of an expectation, and over time, there will be progress.
And when there is progress, be sure to make a big deal of it. Kids love to hear that we noticed them handling something well. Even baby steps, like a much smaller tantrum, can be praised.
Consider your needs as a parent too
Of course, if you have been dealing with tantrum after tantrum, you probably need a break. Dealing with preschooler tantrums is no joke, and it can wear on us. Be sure to ask for help from a spouse or a friend if you have just had enough.
Additionally, when we see persistent tantrum issues that disrupt our homes, with no change despite our best efforts, it could be time to get some outside help or professional guidance. There’s nothing wrong with pursuing help for your child, no matter what stigma sits around the issue.
So as you are dealing with preschooler tantrums this holiday season, remember that tantrums are normal in preschool development, especially when life gets busy or exciting. There will still be so much fun in your holiday season. Just hold on to these tips to keep yourself sane when things get chaotic. And hey, if things get too crazy, turn on some My Signing Time for some educational fun. We have a watch free section here, and you can try out a full subscription with a 14-day free trial. We can make it through the holidays together!