October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month, and we may think that this has nothing to do with our kids. However, as they grow up in this difficult world, we’d all like to prevent our kids from ending up in an abusive relationship. Did you know that holding clear boundaries is a key factor in preventing abuse? A person with a clear understanding of their own boundaries will see the crossing of those boundaries as a deal-breaker. So let’s teach our kids to set and hold boundaries to help them have a safer future.
Be an example
As in all character development with our kids, it’s important for us to model the behavior we’d like to teach. And in reality, many of us adults don’t have great boundaries. We may struggle with people-pleasing, codependency, or an overactive conscience that makes us feel that we must say “yes” to everything. So first, let’s figure out where we stand with our own sense of boundaries, and let’s model our own healthy boundary setting.
Have clear boundaries in your home
Even if we don’t have it all worked out personally, we can establish clear boundaries in our own homes. In every home, there are things that are acceptable and things that are unacceptable. It’s actually healthy to require kids to operate within our home boundaries.
Here are some examples. Do we jump on the furniture here or not? Is it OK to play with the light switches? Is making the bed important to you? Should your child clean up when they’re finished playing? Do your kids have to help out in the home they live in?
Admittedly, these are expectation-like limits or boundaries, but they still count in helping your child understand that you will not allow certain behaviors or habits.
Physical boundaries
We can also teach our kids to set boundaries in their physical interactions. I remember saying, “Please do not lick me,” to one of my little ones, and thinking about what a strange request that was. But really, I was stating what I would allow to be done to my own body and what I would not allow. So we can teach our kids physical boundaries with us as their parents, and then of course, with their peers. When we tell our kids to keep their hands to themselves, or not to push, bite, or hit their little counterparts, we are teaching them to respect boundaries.
Let’s teach our kids to set boundaries and to respect boundaries. It’s healthy for them to both respect other people’s physical boundaries and to require respect for their own physical space. One way we can teach this is through sibling or friend interactions. Quite often while kids are playing, one ends up saying, “No!” or “Stop!” to another. We can take this opportunity to encourage our kids to honor each other’s no’s. And when we stand up for our kids by asking another child to respect that they said no or stop, we teach our kids what is healthy. It’s a way to teach our kids how to set and hold boundaries for themselves and for others.
This is a great time to learn the sign for stop!
Let’s protect our kids by helping them to learn to confidently set and hold boundaries.
At My Signing Time, we always try to empower kids to be themselves and to stand up for both themselves and others. Check out our fun, educational, and empowering shows here!