Halloween can be so fun and kind of magical for adults and older kids, but sometimes it can be a little too scary for little ones. While many of us can enjoy the spookiness, it’s often too much for preschoolers. There are strange decorations, loud and creepy sounds, and people in scary costumes. For a toddler or preschooler, these things seem very real. If your child suddenly seems afraid of trick-or-treating, masks, or even their favorite character, it’s a totally natural response to all the creepiness. So let’s help our little ones enjoy the fun of Halloween without the fear factor. Here are a few ways to help our kids handle Halloween fears.
Acknowledge Their Feelings
For us adults, there really is nothing to be afraid of because it’s all fake. It can be tempting to tell our kids not to be afraid because it’s all pretend. But for preschoolers, imagination is powerful, and pretend can feel very real. So instead of trying to minimize the fears, let’s validate their feelings. We could say something like, “That mask looks pretty spooky, doesn’t it? I understand why it might feel scary.”
See, once we acknowledge what our kids are feeling, they are more likely to be able to hear us about what is real and what is not real. When any of us feels heard, we’re more open to reassurance. So let’s first acknowledge how scary something seems and help our kids feel like their perspective matters. Then we can work on some gentle teaching about what’s real and what’s not.
If your child needs help to identify their feelings, signing can help. Check out the Feelings section in our free Signing Time Dictionary to help your child learn a few ways to express what they are feeling. When we help our kids to identify their feelings, it’s a step toward helping our kids handle their Halloween fears.
Show Them Behind the Scenes
If your child is afraid of costumes or masks, show them how they work. Let them help you try one on in front of a mirror. Laugh together as you take it on and off to reveal your smiling face.
You can even watch short videos or behind-the-scenes clips of how costumes and makeup are made. This can help to emphasize creativity instead of spookiness.
In the same way, if you’re able to show them how the creepy animatronic decorations work during the daytime, it helps them not to be afraid of them in action at night. The more we can help them see what’s real in a safe space, the more likely those thoughts of reality will rule in their minds as they go forward.
Preview Halloween Activities in Advance
Preschoolers do best when they know what’s coming. So try reading some picture books about Halloween or watching gentle, age-appropriate Halloween shows. Over at My Signing Time, we have a short, free show about Halloween signs and a kid-appropriate show about a haunted house on Halloween night. Both of these can help your child feel more confident about Halloween.
You could also talk through your plans for trick-or-treating or parties. It helps our kids so much to hear us explain what we are going to see, and even to have a plan for what to do if they feel too scared. We can let them know that they can choose to wave or say hi to other costumed people or to just look around, or even to just look down if they don’t like something. Let them know that it’s totally OK for them to say that they don’t want to go closer or that they are scared. This helps them have a sense of control, and it assures them that they won’t be forced to face the things that are just too much.
Choose Friendly Options
When we have little kids in our homes, it’s a good idea to skip the gore and creepy factor. Instead, let’s opt for smiling pumpkins, silly ghosts, or colorful lights. One of my neighbors has life-sized zombie figures climbing up the outside of the house. My daughter said that she wouldn’t be able to sleep knowing those were on the outside of her house, even though she knows they’re fake. The creepy decorations can stay on someone else’s house.
For our more fearful kids, let’s look for daytime Halloween events, and let’s trick-or-treat at the homes of family or friends. These options are perfect for young children who can be overwhelmed by nighttime crowds or darker themes.
Know When to Call It a Night
Our kids may start out the night feeling brave, and then they might start to feel uneasy as the night goes on. If your child loses steam on Halloween night, it’s okay to head home early. Let’s focus on making it a positive experience. That is so much more powerful than pushing through a fearful experience when they are at the end of their capacity. It’s OK to switch to a cozy movie, a favorite treat, or some snuggles to make the evening feel special in a different way.
Reassure Them That You’re Always There
The most comforting thing for a fearful preschooler is to know that you are right there with them. Our presence helps our kids to feel safe. And a calm, confident parent can turn even the spookiest moment into something manageable. Let’s help our kids know that they don’t have to face their fears alone. We are right there to help our kids handle Halloween fears.
While Halloween is supposed to be about imagination, that same imagination can make our preschoolers much more sensitive in this spooky season. So let’s be understanding, prepared, and creative as we help our kids handle Halloween fears. We may just be able to help our little ones feel brave enough to enjoy the magic of the season.